Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
