I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
