just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
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I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
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I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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