Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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