I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
