Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
