when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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