You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
