I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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