You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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