You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
