My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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