Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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