Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
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She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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