did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
