Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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