and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
