Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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