I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
