A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
