Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
