Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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