Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i think im in europe. pls send help
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
