don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.