We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
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I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.