It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You're like the curious george of whores
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.