i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk