you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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