Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
