how can u be prego again
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I had to cum in my sink.
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