that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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