Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
