And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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