ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
