Non-Jews are for practice
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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