I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
