school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
