yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
