If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
