do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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