We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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