Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
