with your own penis?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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