Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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