That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
