She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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