The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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