benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize