Tell her she can't have a vagina
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
