i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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