ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
