Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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