Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
me + whiskey = a bad person
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
