Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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