Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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