I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize