either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
