I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
