we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
