How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
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The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
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